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Showing posts from January, 2009

My Crazy Mama Had a 73 lb Baby!

What?! How does someone have a 73 lb baby!? It's a twisted tale, but here goes...

About a month ago, I began noticing some very odd behavior in my mother. Now let me back up a second and give you some background...my parents moved in with us several months ago to help out with my very high maintenance, heart bypass recovering husband. He used to get up in the middle of the night for water, to potty, whatever...promptly pass out and drop to the ground like a ton of bricks. Sometimes there were seizures involved. Needless to say, this was freaking me out quite a bit especially since I didn't relish the thought of my kids walking in to see Dad on the floor with his eyes rolled back in his head..oy! So, my parents (who are quite simply THE best parents in the Universe) packed up and moved in to help me with the kids, etc. They have their own "house" separate from the rest of us (it was probably the only reason they agreed...they could shut us out when we got too rowdy!) I…

Revisiting the Blue Suit (aka I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!)

My son is a tween. Tweens are fascinating creatures. They're highly intelligent beings that will waste no time telling you how un-intelligent you are compared to them. The tween creature that lives in our house has the market cornered on sacrcasm. (I don't know where he learned that...hee hee) He is fascinated with his hair and is convinced that you adore his lovely locks as much as he does. He is the master and commander of all he sees (except for the fairy...and that makes the tween a very unhappy camper at times...)

There are a few things that can really freak out a tween. *Cameras...point a camera at a tween and he'll disappear faster than you can say "cheese". Haircuts...tell your tween that if he doesn't clean his room he has to get a haircut. That room will be shiny and bright in 30 seconds flat. Send emails in geek speak...example..."I luv u".."u r 2 cool"...the fact that you can speak geek will mortify your tween. (I love doing tha…

BUSTED! I'm a Blog Stalker with Books! **UPDATED!**

*UPDATE! If you've already read this post, please scroll to bottom to the UPDATE! Exciting news down there!! (For you new visiting folks, please contain your excitement until you read through the posty...thanks!)

Can you see me blushing? (pink cheeks, shy smile)

I was busted. For Blog Stalking. Apparently, the word is out that I travel around blogland like a drifter in search of a bloggy place to leave my comments. I move from blog to blog littering comments here and there. And you know what? Someone out there liked that! That's right they did! They LIKED my comments and my stalking! They liked it so much that they awarded me this!


Yep! I'm a Super Stalker! A big hug and thanks to my dear sweet friend, Pam over at Country Mouse, City Mousefor sending this my way! (and I've been blogging for less than 30 days! I am honored!) Now, I have to pass this on to another Super Stalker. I nominate LORI atA DOUBLE SHOT OF ESPRESSO. She flings her lovely comments all throughout the l…

American Idle (aka I have a Nerdanderthal in my house..)

Yes, I spelled Idle in the title on purpose. (I'm a poet and didn't know it..hee hee...) And yes, there are such creatures as "nerdanderthals."

Every Tuesday beginning in January, strange behavior comes over my husband. This is a guy who is an articulate, smart dude with a work ethic that is unmatched anywhere in the Universe. This guy went back to work 3 weeks after heart bypass surgery! He's a force to be reckoned with! However, come American Idol time, he becomes a nerdanderthal. What is that, you ask? Hmmm...let's see how best to explain???

Neanderthal caveman + Nerdy Behavior = Nerdanderthal

Time stands still (idling...now do you get it?? American Idle...me so punny...) in our house from the time AI comes on until it's over. Nothing can tear Chilly away from the TV. (Proof...last night, Catherine singing at the top of her lungs to a Dan Zanes song, "Pay me, you owe me...pay me my money down. Pay me or go to jail...Pay me my money down"...I, of…

It's a Birthday Luv Fest!

Happy Birthday, Miss Kitty!
(and yes, awards are here too...I promise!)

Today is my precious princess Catherine's 6th birthday! Six years ago today I was pleading with my doctor to "just get her out of me NOW!" (I really did say that...) This little bundle of joy loved my womb. Loved it so much that she hung out in there for an extra week! AN EXTRA WEEK!!! (In pregnant mom years that feels like 10 years.) Finally, she arrived with jet black hair, pale white skin and ruby red lips...just like a little Snow White! After a few days the black "mommy gave you too much hormone" hair fell out and soft fuzzy blonde sprouted through. Then all hair growth stopped until about age 3. That and no talking...I mean not a word except for an occasional grunt until 3. Then wham! Complete articulate sentences came pouring out of this kid!

Today I celebrate my sweet surprise! Yep, she was a surprise!!! I was 37 and thought I couldn't have anymore babies. But God always has a big…

You're Wearing What?? (I'm Not the Only New Stripper in Town!)

Before I get started on my daily rant, I want to say a big Thank You for all the birthday wishes for Cat! Big hugs to all of you!!!! Now, let the ranting begin...

I know why Ken broke up with Barbie. He found out she was pole dancing on the side. But you may already know this. I am just returning to the land of Barbie after a 35+ year absence. (I was a Malibu Barbie girl...)



Saturday I was out doing a bit of last minute shopping for my daughter's 6th birthday. My daughter recently started getting into the whole Barbie scene. The Barbies we have so far are all "princess" style...lots of big poofy ballgowns, tiaras, etc. For Christmas we decked out Barbie's rental pad (aka my coffee table..it was her temporary loft apartment) with fabulous furniture. For Cat's birthday we are gonna rock Barbie's world with an upscale mansion in the really nice part of town. I thought a few nice outfits would be a lovely housewarming gift for Barbie. Ball gowns can be so stuffy...…

Sunday All About MEME

Today I am busy preparing my daughter's 6th birthday party! It's a Fancy Nancy party so I have lots of work to do around here to get fancy! Thanks to my blogfabulous buddy, Cammie...I am going to take the cheaty way out of blogging today and do this little meme...(cause I'm busy getting fancy...)

Grab a cup of coffee, cocoa, tea or whatever suits your "fancy" and enjoy! (I don't know...you'll probably want some liquor cause this is a long meme!!!!)

I hope you survive it...lol!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Nope, I'm an original...

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? About 5 minutes ago when I realized how long this darn thing is...

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? It's not so bad....

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Buffalo hot wing flavored turkey...

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Why, yes I do...two...12 y/o son & 6 y/0 daughter...

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yeah, I'm pretty nice..when people aren't annoying me…

Fairies

"And as the seasons come and go, here's something you might like to know. There are fairies everywhere: under bushes, in the air, playing games just like you play, singing through their busy day. So listen, touch, and look around - in the air and on the ground. And if you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wing." ~Author Unknown

Who doesn't love a fairy? Fairies are a big deal at our house. We have wings, wands and fairy dust all over the place. Here's one of the fairies that lives with us...
(this fairy likes to wear Crocs..) You can imagine my pure delight yesterday when I was handpicked by the Gum Chewin' Fairyto be her first apprentice in her new "Fairies in Training" program! Yipppeee doodles! (I'm blushing...shy smile...)The lovely Gum Chewin' Fairyis currently accepting other Fairies in Training so hurry on over to Fairy Dust and Bubblegumto see what it's all about!Thank you, Gum Chewin' Fairyfor hav…

Build-a-What & Hot-tie Topic (aka How to Embarrass Your Tot and Tween at the Mall)

Rainy AZ day yesterday = fun family outing! Our mall is 35 miles away so we treat it as a roadtrip...roadtrip? whooo hooo!

Fast forward to the mall...We walk into Hot Topic and my son heads for the band t-shirts. Cat and I stop up front to look at a pink(!) Domo plushie. Here's a picture of Domo...my kids love this freaky thing.

I hear whispering and giggling coming from behind me. I look and there are 2 adult women ooohing and ahhing over in the Twilight section. Boy howdy! A Twilight section! Cat and I stroll over there. These ladies are gushing and drooling all over the place, and dare I say it? They have to be my age! (I'm 43) We start checking out the goods.... (Twilight band-aids...I'm buying these for my boo-boos and for when Edward Cullen comes to bite me...) (I'm getting this, stealing one of Cat's Barbies and pretend it's me and have a love fest with my Edward Cullen action figure...) (This poster is going on my ceiling...directly over my bed...)I am in…

Tomato Soup and Garlic Butts

Just the title alone gives you a giggle, huh??? But first I have to share a tidbit about how completely mental I have become...

Picture me...yesterday...writing out my "to do" list...

*Pick up last minute party items for Cat's bday
*Finish laundry
*Trim Cat's fangs (my daughter, Catherine...not our real cat...)

Did ya catch that? Trim Cat's fangs???? Now those of you who have read my post Twilight Tendencies will completely understand why I might do this. If you havent' read it...go read it:) Then you won't think I am so paranoid. Can everyone say classic Freudian slip? (my stinky linky won't work...please locate this tantalizing post over in my archives...)

Now, on to Tomato Soup and Garlic Butts....

I hear some of you asking yourselves, "What exactly is a garlic butt?" (Yes, I'm using the word butt, but feel free to insert "tushy, booty, bum," whatever you are most comfortable with.) I can tell you this...most of you have probably …

You Want Some Whine With That?

My family is a big bunch of whiners this week. Seriously...can't a girl blog without whine? (Cammie, I know you love your wine and Robert Pattinson...your wine is the good kind of wine...mine, not so much...)

If you were a tiny fly on the wall in my house this week, this is what you would have had the great pleasure to witness...

*My husband coming in at 3:00 am to find me on the computer...

"Chilly: "Minnie, you are like a crack "ho" and your blog is your crack.

"Shhh...you'll wake up the kids...

Chilly: "Seriously, Minnie...get off the computer...NOW...you're becoming a freak."

Me: (looking around for the cops...I mean, kids...) "Shut up, Chilly...get out of here!"

He shuffled back to bed trying to figure out how to break the news to the family that I'm an addict...

Then there was this lovely "busted" moment...

Me...blogging...eating some waffles...My son walks by me and says...

"Whoa! Mom! You just went Godzilla on t…

Gettin' My Irish Freak On (aka I'm Gonna Be a Stripper)

Another confession...or should I say "con-feis-sion?"

I am an absolute freakazoid about all things Irish. It's rather weird considering I'm not Irish. (however, my very Irish friend, Pam, said she thought I must have a drop somewhere, so I'm good with that...)

Here's the proof...I named my kids Connor and Catherine...Irish....I listen to Celtic music relentlessly....Irish.....I swoon whenever I hear an Irish accent...I don't even care if it's a drunk old Irish guy or Cat's dance teacher singing "step & hop and step & hop"....Irish.....I am crazy about Liam Neeson (read previous posts about our midnight escapades), ...yummy Irish...Colin Firth.. (ok, not Irish, but still yummy)..(and Chilly, I've seen your list of hmmm...can we even call them ladies??? so, don't hate the playah, honey, hate the game...)....and finally, I make my daughter take Irish step dancing classes....which leads me to the reason I may have to become a s…

Monster Homicide (with a Happy Ending)

I came home Saturday afternoon from running errands to find this on the ground in front of the house.


Apparently, a monster had been murdered. A monster with bad shoes. I ran inside to make sure my kids were safe. No one was inside. Uh oh....

I took my camera and headed out to the west side of our property where I heard voices. (cause I have to take pictures of everything that happens to us...and who knew what kind of monster killer was lurking around...maybe a Sasquatch or something cool...) What (or who?) the heck could've murdered a monster at my house? Was this the creature that destroyed my flower pots and assaulted our snowman the other day? I thought it was the javelinas. Hmmm... (Yes, I live in the desert...yes, I have a snowman...he's a grapevine snowman...there's a photo of him in blogpost "Moon Sand and Marshmallows"..go see him! He's cute!) Back to the monster murder...

When I got out to the back 40, this is what I discovered... Catherine was putting…

Minnie, Smitty, Puddin' and Scrappy

Another weird family confession...

We have a strange compulsion to nickname everyone. No one is safe from this torture. My husband infected us with this disease a long time ago and we have never recovered. This has proven awkward at his office Christmas parties where I am introduced to people by their "real" names, and I just stand there with a dumb look on my face. I usually lean over and whisper, "Isn't that Raisin?" or "I thought that his name was Bobblehead?"

My nickname was bestowed upon me at Disneyland when I was dating my husband. He started calling me Minnie and it stuck. Stuck to the point that to this day, my nephew calls me "Aunt Minnie." Sometimes I am "yo!" or "mouse", but mostly Minnie. My parents blessed me with "Dawnie Doodlebug" during my formative years....my sister was Snicklefritz..that sounds like a bad Vegas act (in the really bad part of Vegas)..."Introducing Dawnie Doodlebug and Snick…

Cat Quips

Mommy: Hey, Connor..what'cha doin' today?

Connor: I'm going out back to work with Papa.

Catherine: What's that mean? You're just gonna stand around and look good? ps yes, Aunties, sister, and other assorted family members...longer post coming in the morning...promise!

Honest Scrap! My First Blog Award!

Yippeee-doodles!

I was given my very first bloggy award by my very blogilicious friend, Shalee, over at Sometimes Its Good To Be Speechless! Thank you, Shalee! You are a rockstar!

Now, this award doesn't come easy! I have to earn it by exposing myself (yikes!) .... (not as freaky as it sounds..lol!) Here's the scoop...


The rules for the Honest Scrap award:
The honorees are to:

A) List 10 honest things about yourself -
and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep!

B) pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap

And away we go....
1.If Edward Cullen were a real person, I would run away from home, kick Bella's be-hind, and make him my own...cause I'm older and more experienced...and my blood is probably tastier cause it ages like fine wine...
2. My husband proposed to me at KFC...(yes, that's right...the chicken joint..)
3. I can only have white hangars in my closets. (can anyone say, "Mommy Dearest?")
4. I LoVe to play…

Warm Fuzzy Friday

I know, I know...I am late getting my blog up! The phone calls, the sheriff's posse at my door aren't gonna make me do it any faster, family members! I've got kids to raise and educate!!!

Now, as the Mayor of this little piece of blog heaven, I proclaim today to be Warm Fuzzy Friday!I know most of you out there are freezing off your little tushies off across blogland. I, however, am in the desert and am getting some nice warm sun. I am sending it out across the land to all of you to help you feel a bit more toasty...there...did ya get some? Ah...that feels good, huh?

Back to my WFF proclamation...What, may you ask, prompted such warm fuzzy feelings in me today? Glad you asked! That would be my Poptart & Baloney Sandwich blog from yesterday! I received lots of love for that bloggy and it made me think alot about Gigi. Then I started missing her and then I had to go look at pictures of her and then I had to cry a bunch cause I missed her. I even thought (and I stress the w…