Friday, January 23, 2009

Build-a-What & Hot-tie Topic (aka How to Embarrass Your Tot and Tween at the Mall)

Rainy AZ day yesterday = fun family outing! Our mall is 35 miles away so we treat it as a roadtrip...roadtrip? whooo hooo!

Fast forward to the mall...We walk into Hot Topic and my son heads for the band t-shirts. Cat and I stop up front to look at a pink(!) Domo plushie. Here's a picture of kids love this freaky thing.


I hear whispering and giggling coming from behind me. I look and there are 2 adult women ooohing and ahhing over in the Twilight section. Boy howdy! A Twilight section! Cat and I stroll over there. These ladies are gushing and drooling all over the place, and dare I say it? They have to be my age! (I'm 43) We start checking out the goods....


(Twilight band-aids...I'm buying these for my boo-boos and for when Edward Cullen comes to bite me...)


(I'm getting this, stealing one of Cat's Barbies and pretend it's me and have a love fest with my Edward Cullen action figure...)


(This poster is going on my ceiling...directly over my bed...)

I am in Twilight heaven and Cat says, "What did you say, Mommy?" I look at her confused. "I didn't say anything." She says, "Yes you did. You said hottie." (she pronounces hottie like this...'hawww-tie' and whispers it, apparently the way I did..) I can feel a major hot flash coming on. "No I did not!" I tell her. The lady with the most drool, giggles and says, "Yes you did." I'm thinking "yeah, right, drool lady...I'm not the middle age crazy standing here wearing my "Team Edward" t-shirt. (even though I really want one...)

I realize I need to get the heck out of there before creating a disturbance so we go find Connor. Everytime we get close to him he moves a few feet away. What?? I move toward him...he moves 2 feet further. This is getting funny. Connor is embarrassed to have his mom and sister seen with him at Hot Topic! LOL! Now it becomes my mission to get as close to him as I can while moving him to the exit. Oh, and yeah, I had my camera. If you ever want to freak out your tween, point a camera at him inside a Hot Topic. Mwooohahahaha... I'll spare you the details, but it was good times.

Next stop, Build a Small Bear Country...I mean Build a Bear Workshop. Off we went to create our 400th citizen for Cat's land of bears. I am not joking when I say we could've have financed a 350 billion dollar bailout with our investment over the years in Build a Bear alone. The kid could fill a Costco warehouse with bear clothes & accessories.

Allow me to introduce Heartsie, our newest citizen...


Connor hates doing anything fun where his sister is concerned so this little stop was pure torture...especially with me shooting off a million pictures.

The kids started getting cranky and nasty with each other. I try my nice voice.."Be nice, guys" to which Catherine replies.."I'm a 'guhl' not a guy." Connor..."CATHERINE..don't talk to mom that way!" It went straight to WWF smackdown from there. I hiss at Connor, "Do you want me to take you to the bra and panties department at Macys?????" That shuts him up right there because there is nothing more humiliating to a tween boy than running the bra and panty gauntlet in a department store. Catherine keeps chattering on, "yeaah, Connor..we're going to Macys!" I shoot my evil stinkeye at her and look at Heartsie. She gets the picture. She hugs Heartsie close. "Sorry Connor." "Me too," Connor says. Peace in the land at last! Oh, and by the way Connor...I did take a picture of you!!!!


So, we get home and guess what Cat played with for the rest of the evening?


Yep, another box! (see my NO Boys Allowed'll see my daughter loves the simple pleasures in life...) She wore this thing on her head all night! Heartsie was nowhere in sight...poor dear...

So...I have decided online shopping is the only way to keep me from being commited into an asylum. Sorry mall, I just can't take the stress anymore. I don't have to dress up (heck, I don't even have to get dressed) for my computer. My computer won't spray me with perfume when I walk by it. It won't ask me if I like my cell phone service or if I want a neck warmer when I walk by it either. (in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a fan of the mall offense..) And online shopping is a 24/7 paradise.

Gotta scoot...Etsy is calling my name....

p.s...have you tried Polyvore???


Me said...

LOVE IT! I can't wait until my two boys are old enough to embarass in public. Right now, they are too young to care or usually ones doing the "embarassing". Oh pay back my little ones! Pay BACK!

Andrea said...

I used to shop at hot topic when I was a teen, only I liked to drag my mom in and embarass her, not the other way around. :) Sounds like you had a fun and exciting outing!

Cammie said...

that is awesome. I would DIE if I lived that far from a mall but man would my hubby love it if we did. Love her dress!

Melissa said...

LOL!!! This post was hilarious! And I KNEW I would find a comment from Cammie...bwhahaha!

My tweens (13 & 16) are the same way in public.

Happy Friday!

Melissa said...

LOL!!! This post was hilarious! And I KNEW I would find a comment from Cammie...bwhahaha!

My tweens (13 & 16) are the same way in public.

Happy Friday!

Kristen Andrews said...

that is funny, the box! I still need to read Twilight!

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

I'm just going to say...that I have caught myself on more than one occation saying "oh my" when I see a really hot guy out...Glad I've never been with my kids...whew.

Debbie said...

Hilarious. I can't believe you got busted with the hottie comment.

Erin said...

My nearest mall is 45 minutes away, so I understand about road trips. And I love how a hot flash was coming on when you realized you said "hottie."

Cute background and banner too!

The Blonde Duck said...

If you really want to embarass him, start singing and dancing to show tunes serenading a poster of Edward.

pam said...

Do you have the Dead Sea in your local mall? Those people will chase you down the hall of the mall to get your fingers polished and moisturized!!

Whatever you do, do not make eye contact!!

I hear you about Build a Bear, my daughter thinks she needs a new one each time we go to the mall. Not happening!!

Talking about malls, I went today for the first time in almost two months!! I was so excited to go shopping, now I am exhausted, in my jammies, under a blanket and on the computer. I am good for another two months!!

Sorry for the blog on your blog.

Love you, Pam

mary-catherine said...

hahaha!!! I remember going to Hot Topic...Those were the good 'ol days! Your story cracked me up...I remember being embarrassed of my mom whenever I would take her in Victoria's Secret...she walked around and after gawking at everything she told me I wasn't allowed to buy anything from there because it was to risque for a teenage girl, she would of course make sure she said this very loudly :-P

LORI said...


The Boob Nazi said...

Hey! I used to have Edward above my bed... My friends put it up there for my birthday as a joke, and I was too lazy to take it down. hahaha

Motherboard said...

Twilight Bandaids?

{shakes her head}

What is the world coming too?

averagejane said...

I've obviously way overdue for a trip to Hot Topic!

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