Gettin' My Irish Freak On (aka I'm Gonna Be a Stripper)

Another confession...or should I say "con-feis-sion?"

I am an absolute freakazoid about all things Irish. It's rather weird considering I'm not Irish. (however, my very Irish friend, Pam, said she thought I must have a drop somewhere, so I'm good with that...)

Here's the proof...I named my kids Connor and Catherine...Irish....I listen to Celtic music relentlessly....Irish.....I swoon whenever I hear an Irish accent...I don't even care if it's a drunk old Irish guy or Cat's dance teacher singing "step & hop and step & hop"....Irish.....I am crazy about Liam Neeson (read previous posts about our midnight escapades), ...yummy Irish...Colin Firth.. (ok, not Irish, but still yummy)..(and Chilly, I've seen your list of hmmm...can we even call them ladies??? so, don't hate the playah, honey, hate the game...)....and finally, I make my daughter take Irish step dancing classes....which leads me to the reason I may have to become a stripper.....

Irish dance is flippin' expensive!!!!!! I thought Irish dance would be fun (it is!) I mean the lingo is pretty nifty...feis (pronounced "fesh"..now do you get "my Con-feis-sion"? giggle giggle) slip jig, treble jig, hard reel...and listening to the clickety clickety of the hard shoe dancers is very cool. However, I didn't anticipate a weekly trip to the blood bank to sell my blood for the extra cash I would need for the "essentials." Let's see...first you have classes, assorted competition fees, the class uniform t-shirt and shorts, the class uniform jumper, the ghillies, hard shoes, wigs, tiaras, and poodle socks. Oh, and don't forget the sock glue. Sock glue????? Here's a picture of a famous Irish dancer...

See her socks? Poodle socks...about $10+ a pair (you go through alot of these.) The cute little black shoes are called ghillies...about $50 a pair (you go through alot of those too.) Hard shoes..about $135+! (hard shoes are the clickety clackers..) The hair...not her real hair...it's a wig that clips over her real hair...$40-$100+! The cute little headband (or some dancers choose tiaras) $20-$100+! And now for the most important thing of all (and most expensive,) the dress...

Irish dance dresses can cost thousands per dress!!!!! (hold on, I think my husband just had his 4th heart attack...sorry honey, didn't want to hit you with that little tidbit too early in her dance career, especially since you recently survived 3 previous heart attacks...) That snazzy little number Barbie is wearing probably cost her mom a cool grand...yep...one thousand smackaroos. (Unless she got it used on ebay, then she probably only spent $700.) I am learning that used is the way to go in Irish dance world. Even then, I know my career as a stripper is looming closer (because I'm running out of blood.)

So kids...I promise I'll use a very cool stripper name like Bambi or Stephi (ha ha, Aunt Ooooo)...I'll keep my lucite high heels hidden away during the day so you won't be embarrassed by your stripper momma. And Catherine, one day when you are a Riverdancer touring the world and being fabulously rich and famous, you better take really good care of me....(or I'll embarrass you with pictures from my stripper days...I can assure you no one wants to see that....43 year old strippers are in a class of their own...and not the good kind....)

My Irish Ghillie Girl, Catherine, at one of her first performances this past November...

p.s...no offense to anyone named Steph, Stephi, Stephanie...that's my sister's name...she really is a stripper...NOT...just kidding...she's a rockin' momma who's an amazing artist! The only things she strips are the sheets off her bed....my mom's the real stripper in our family....(lol...love you, mommy...)