Skip to main content

Miss Hi-Yah Returns and Brings Her Madness With Her

Happy Monday! As I sat down last evening to do my list of "how am I going to get everything done" for the week, I noticed that this Saturday is Valentine's Day. Well, actually I noticed that Friday was the 13th before realizing love day was Saturday, but I have no big plans for 13th, so "we're gold, Jerry..we're gold." (obscure Seinfeld reference) I thought "How lovely! I should do a post about our Cupid's Tea Party!" I could delight my family and friends with recipes and party ideas! (not to mention, this would make for an easy post and who doesn't want that on a Monday?)

So off I go to gather recipes, charming snippets of Valentine lore, and photos to share in my post. I skipped through my home with a song of joy in my heart...la la lalala! Suddenly I was overcome with the heebie jeebies. The air was crackling and the happy woodland creatures (unicorns included) were scurrying off to parts unknown. Uh-oh...I recognized this vibe...this always signaled the arrival of a most unwelcome visitor to our home. (no, not the javelinas...something far worse...) I hid behind the sofa to wait. I was hoping I was wrong as I rocked back and forth sucking my thumb trying to calm my nerves. All at once I heard a crash and screams of pain coming from the hallway. Darn it! It seems that our visitor had arrived.

Cautiously, I crept toward the hallway. My son had our visitor in a headlock in a bear hug obviously ready to feed her to the javelinas delighted to see her. "Well hello!" I say in my cheery "please don't hurt me" voice. "How are you today, Miss Hi-Yah?" (For those of you unfamiliar with Miss Hi-Yah, allow me to introduce her... )

(Please note...this photo is about 3 years old...Miss Hi-Yah has gotten very good at avoiding cameras...not to mention I am afraid to photograph her as she is bigger and stronger now...eek!) Many moons ago, I posted about this wondrous creature...if you are brave enough to read it...go here...{shudder, shudder}

What on earth would make Miss Hi-Yah return on such a cold rainy night? Was it the warm coziness of our humble abode? Was it the scent of vanilla candles wafting gently from room to room? Nothing quite so simple, I'm afraid. No, it seems my son conjured up this witch of doom charming guest with his desire for control. (which seems to be getting "out of control" since he started playing Civilization Revloution on XB360...I mean how many times does he need to conquer the Romans to feel fulfillment?) Apparently, Cat (I mean Miss Hi-Yah) simply wanted to go in her brother's room to steal stuff spend some quality time with him. I guess Connor wasn't on board with her plan.

Miss Hi-Yah is putting up quite a struggle. "Tell Miss Hi-Yah she can't come in my room," the dictator (that once was my son) demands. Using my heavy sigh, "can this be happening to me" voice, I say, "Sheesh, dude, she's 6 yrs. old...do you seriously need to put her in a headlock bear hug?" Miss Hi-Yah takes advantage of the dictator's confusion and breaks free. She then promptly punches him in the stomach and then uses me as a human shield. The dictator lunges and a "round the human shield" pursuit begins. Time for the big guns..."DADDY!!"

The dictator immediately turns, runs for his bunker and slams the door. Miss Hi-Yah is not fazed one bit. She starts beating on the door. The Big Gun is ignoring us. He's been on this runaway train before and doesn't want another trip. Miss Hi-Yah turns and senses opportunity knocking. She takes a deep breath and pools of tears fill her evil red orbs shooting out daggers beautiful blue eyes. "Connor's being mean to me, Mama" she sniffles. She rubs her eyes and reaches for me. I lift her up and hug her. (This girl knows how to work a crowd...) I head to the family room to sit down. I catch a glimpse of her in the mirror and see a smirk. I start my "don't hit your brother cause he won't let you steal from him" lecture. She just snuggles up closer to me and says sweetly through the tears, "I'm sorry, Mommy. I just wanted to play with him." (I can just hear her saying "I would like to thank the Academy...") I continue with the lecture. Miss Hi-Yah rears her angry head and says, "FINE! I'm leavin'! THAT'S IT!" She storms out of the room. "Hey! Just where do you think you're going, young lady!?" Crazy Mama has bubbled up out of me now. "I'm running away and I'm taking my madness with me!" What? Her madness? Geez, that's great...she's angry and nuts! I hope her kind of madness isn't contagious! (especially since we're dealing with colds, the fat virus, other assorted seasonal maladies...) And then...wait for it...SLAM! Whew...that must mean she's packing her stuff having a self imposed time out.


Fast forward one hour...ah...do ya feel it? Peace and harmony restored. Miss Hi-Yah has returned to parts unknown. Our darling Catherine is back, playing happily in her room. I sit down at the computer and this is what greets me...


Our old gray rubber chicken guy has been "hanged" out back at the storage shed! Is this some kind of ominous warning from Miss Hi-Yah?? (I mean she did bury a monster in our backyard...remember this? (You can read about the Monster Homicide here...)





I slept with the lights on and one eye open all night....just sayin'...

p.s. All characters in this story are based on actual people and the names have not been changed to protect the innocent. That being said...my sweetie pie, Catherine, wanted me to let you all know that she is a really, really good, kind soul. She doesn't want you to think she's a meanie. She's just ornery on occasion:) (I'm still sleeping with the lights on....)

p.s.s. Miss Hi-Yah is completely from the mind of Catherine. I'm thinking it's her name from some scary past life incarnation as a mean nanny or opera diva.

Comments

Me said…
I don't care who ya are..that's funny right there! My youngest has an altar ego..but he makes more of a whining, whimpering noise..like a wounded animal.

Gotta love kids!
Kristina P. said…
She sounds hilarious!
devri said…
Maybe our girls, were seperated at birth!
mama's smitten said…
Funny Story. My daughter Mia's alter is named Lea. When Lea comes out I just casually say "Hi Lea what did you do with Mia today?"She immediately starts cracking up and usually problem solved. Yeah she only six , wonder how long it will last!
Debbie said…
I bet your house is always fun!
Momo Fali said…
Yikes! I'm not sure I'd sleep at all!
mine, by magpie said…
omg- i'm absolutely collapsing laughing. you are a riot!!!
kel said…
That was hilarious!!
Beverly said…
That is hysterical. Makes me glad my kids are grown! Maybe you should consider tying empty aluminum cans at your bedroom door so they'll make noise if she enters during the night...
The Blonde Duck said…
LOL! I think she tops Bitty's vengence!

I moved! Come visit me at www.aduckinherpond.com.
blognut said…
If she's a danger to rubber chickens, you better keep a close eye on her!
Tracy said…
I might have just tinkled in my pants a bit! That was SO funny!!!
The picture that is 3 years old is about how I look in the morning before my Diet Coke.
blueviolet said…
That is such a funny picture! Thank goodness she's just a visitor and not a permanent resident!
pam said…
I have one or two little Miss Terrors in my house as well. Fun post!!

Love you
Kathy said…
Okay, I think me and Cat/Miss Hi-Yah may be kindred spirits. I too find myself having multiple personality episodes in the same afternoon :)

p.s. the rubber-chicken is killin' me...So funny!
Lol, Miss Hi-Yah sounds charming!
What a funny story, I loved reading it. You must never get bored at your house. My kids are 11 and 21. They fight like cats and dogs sometimes, it drives me crazy. Sometimes they will be best friends. I just love peace and quiet. ~Sue~
I swear you need to write a book...you have such a way with words and you always have such great stories!
Marie Reed said…
I have become soo addicted to this blog lady! The new look is Fab! The blue just grabs you!
Kat said…
I would have slept with the lights on and the covers over my head. Just in case.
Dapoppins said…
I totally get that split personality thing with the kids, although, I think in my kids it's just genetic.

Popular posts from this blog

Guess Whoooo's 100? (It's the Mother of All Giveaways!)

(Update! Comments are now closed for the Monster Giveaway! Thank you for participating!)

Whooo's 100?

I am! This is my 100th post!

To say I am astonished and humbled by the incredible support of my blog from fellow bloggers, friends and family would be an ginormous understatement! I am truly, deeply grateful that ya’ll stop by and visit me! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

(I had this scheduled to post at midnight, but for some reason, it didn't! I got up to check it about 1:30 am and discovered blogger's mischief! Sorry if you came by then!)

All righty then…do you have a cup of coffee, hot cocoa, tea, martini? How about a masseuse? You’re gonna need it! It’s my 100th post and by the time you are done reading it, you’ll probably feel as old and tired as Rip Van Winkle! You know me and my long winded rambley-ness! (....the giveaway is here..I promise!)

So, this is what I’ve come to know about blogging in the last 100 days….

Blogging is like taking a vacation to a place you never k…

A Wee Drop of Irish (or Cloudy With a Chance of B*tchy Part 2)

Happy St. Patrick's Day! How about a wee stroll down memory lane?  Thank you to everyone who messaged me about sharing this blast from the past again this year:)  (yes, Maureen...I do read your emails too!)  Even though it was originally posted in 2009, not too much has changed (says Dawn in her "I can't believe I have PMS every single year at this same time"  happy (think Pharrell singing "Happy") voice.  So grab a cup of Irish coffee, Jameson whiskey, Guinness or whatever suits your fancy on this fine St. Patrick's Day and let me share a tale of whimsy with you.  (and may the luck of the Irish be with you if you come my way today!  Don't say I didn't warn you!)   



Oops! What's she doing here again? Wasn't she just here a month ago? UGH! The nerve! We had so much "fun" last time she was here, didn't we? 

Well, since I have a full day of Irish activities planned, I guess I better be gettin' my Irish on....hmm...let's s…

Chilly Update...

I hate this disease with a passion...more on that in a moment...

First and foremost, there aren't enough words in the English language to convey my most sincere gratitude for the amazing love and support you've all shared with my family. I am completely overwhelmed and very humbled by it all. I've shared all of your comments and emails with Chilly and the kiddos. It has meant so much to us! Thank you, thank you and thank you again!

I wish I could write that Chilly is fine and coming home tomorrow. I wish I could go back to last Friday when every fiber of my being was screaming at me that Chilly was having a heart attack. I wish I would have pinned him to the ground and shoved an aspirin down his throat when he put me off about his symptoms. I wish he would have agreed to go to the ER...Sadly, I can't turn back time...

We were told today that Chilly has suffered a stroke in addition to a heart attack. These two events occured together...meaning, he had the stroke w…