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Friday Fragments aka Did You Just Shank Me?

Friday Fragments brought to you by Half Past Kissin' Time!



I told Chilly last night that it was time for me to get my hair done. He just stared at me. I say it once more with feeling. More staring. Then I understand what is going through his pea-size brain. He is trying to figure out how he can get a new mistress, Flat Screen TV 2 to move in here! (in case you missed it, a power surge took out our flat screen, laptop and XB360 on Tuesday.)

After more staring, he finally says “We ask that you bear with us during this difficult transition.” WHAT? He's using his "skip tracer/ banker" talk on me! Then I realize he’s making a desperate attempt to plea for his new mistress, Flat Screen 2. I laugh like a maniac because I control the finances. “NO FLAT SCREEN FOR YOU!” I yell in my Soup Nazi voice. He hides under the covers. Maniacal laughing continues….(Don't worry, hair...I won't let that stupid Flat Screen chick get in here before you are drenched in lovely carmel tones...)


Overheard yesterday afternoon…

“Did you just shank me? You just SHANKED ME!” Tween Caveboy yells.

I rush into the family room hoping not to find a re-enactment from some bad prison flick. I find Tween Caveboy holding a pen away from 6 yr old Irish Dancer Girl who is looking mighty angry.

“Did you just shank your brother?” (I ask this while trying not to laugh hysterically at the fact that I am actually using the word “shank” with my kids.)

She glares at both of us. “Well, yeah, I did…” She looks at me like I’m stupid.

“How do you even know what shank means?” I ask obviously very disturbed. She points at Tween Caveboy. It figures. So now begs the question…why would my 6 yr old try to pull prison moves on her big bro?

“What happened?” I say using my “Mean Marge the Prison Guard” voice.

“He beat me at Tic Tac Toe.” she crosses her arms and huffs.

Yeah, remind me never to play that game (or any game that involves things that can be “shank-i-fied”) with her again!

(What? Didn't you know I was really Martha Stewart?)


Catherine informed me today that she will be hosting her own web show on my blog as soon as I purchase a new web cam. She said the Geeksters (that’s what she calls them) better get the laptop fixed and fast because she has to do it. I don’t think this show had any influence on her at all.


I’m sure many of you have already seen this, but my sister shared it with me yesterday. I cried my eyes out....again...I've done a lot of crying this week! I know it's been all over the place for months, but in case you missed it….Seriously, it is completely AMAZING! I’m not “lion”! You may want to grab tons of tissue first! It really made me miss "Born Free!"




You can still enter the giveaway if you haven’t done so! Go here!


Thank you all again for your very kind understanding about my inability to blogstalk and spread my comment love. I am extremely limited and have resorted to computer hijacking until my laptop is repaired. (cross your fingers for a speedy recovery!) I only get a few minutes here and there to get online over at the parent’s house. As mentioned previously, I will be back to annoying all of you very soon! Hugs and smoochies!

(I will be starting Warm Fuzzy Friday next week...hopefully! Keep your fingers crossed!)

Dawn (I know...so boring when it's not in my fancy writing...soon, my friends..soon..)

Comments

Beth said…
This sounds like stories I hear from one of my best friends. He is a doctor at THE big prison in town.

Hilarious!
♥georgie♥ said…
lol...i loved YOUR ff! i AM STILL lol@SHANK!!!
Hit 40 said…
I wish your computer a speedy recovery! I hope it is not being held hostage by the evil computer repair dude. Maybe, you should stalk him in person to speed it up.
Jenners said…
Hoping that your precious is back with you soon. I can't believe this all happened during your gigantic monster giveaway.

At least your sense of humor and good writing skills weren't damaged in the Surge of 09. Hang in there ... and Happy Happy Easter.
Noah's Mommy said…
lord...I think I get shanked at least once a day by Juice...on my rump....Geez...and you go....No Mistress...just nice hair....he can stare at that all day...

And I have an awesome giveaway going on at my place...so I hope you'll come by and enter...
Kristina P. said…
I always love a good shanking.
Donnetta said…
I would let my husband have as many mistresses as he wants - a harem even, if I could get my hair done!! :)
Nerdy Jess said…
YES! I make it a point to inject Shank in everyday conversation!

I'm still praying to my geek gods for a speedy recovering. Have you started twitching yet? I get there in about 2.1 seconds when something happens to my stuff. I'm going to email you a product that you need to invest in to protect your stuffs. We have like 4 of these bad boys.
Nancy Face said…
Oh, NOOO! I'm so sorry that stinkin' power surge killed so much of your stuff! :0

I control the finances too, muahaha!

I had no idea what "shank" meant! ;)
Randi Troxell said…
oh u should totally let her have her own web show! it'll be great... and yea, that whole christian the lion thing... i totally refuse to watch it yet AGAIN... my hubby thinks i'm a lunatic for losing it over stuff like that!! happy easter!
Heather said…
Big price difference between a hair cut and anew TV! Men! What ya goin' do with them!?
Tracy said…
Okay seriously... shanking! WONDERFUL!!! Teach 'em young Momma Bee... teach 'em young! This is the only way people will ever learn... a quick shank will always make them remember. That or a throat punch. Whichever is the handiest at that time.

I'm still dying at Chilly's mistress. Dont cave in! Your hair is WAY more important! Not to mention... ahhhem... yeah. So maybe. Just maybe. Chilly could use a good shanking?!
Andrea said…
So funny that your kiddos use the work shank. lol
I love that lion video. I cried when I watched it the first time, too!
Claire said…
That is so funny, Cat shanking her brother. Awesome! I can't wait until Laura starts doing that.

And I am also the finances controller here. The Poor Army Man never gets any sent his way. I finally did crack down and he got his own fancy schmancy Flat Screen TV a few months ago. But if it ever breaks, you'd better believe the old tiny TV is coming out of the garage as a replacement!

Sorry you are having so many computer issues. I can't wait until you are back to full blogging capabilities!
blognut said…
Shank is a great word! You're lucky not to have found your son with the pen sticking out of his leg or something!
Ter said…
Wow, that's the first time I saw that video and now I'm crying!!!
Tink said…
I may have to ask you the definition of "shank". As a mother of two, I'm still not sure what it means, but I'm not going to let it on that I don't ;)
Kitten said…
You're a Friday Fragmenter AND a fellow Girl with Books?!?! Why haven't I seen you before?!?!

Anyhoo, hope your laptop has a tres speedy recovery. I thought I had lost my cell phone last night and was so totally lost without it! I feel your pain!
Tranquility said…
That video totally made my day! Thanks for sharing it!
B said…
I hate hijacking someone else's computer. It just doesn't have the same feel does it?
Deb said…
clever girl... maybe she can show us how to make a shank from everyday school supplies on her first web show!

please... hair takes precedence over new tv ANY day.
A Psych Mommy said…
I saw that video when I was on bedrest in the hospital when I was pregnant--I balled my eyes out and then when the nurses asked what was wrong all I could do was point at the computer screen
The Blonde Duck said…
I hope you get your computer back soon! I can't wait for Warm Fuzzy Friday!

That video made me cry too. :)
Mama Dawg said…
I love your daughter. She's a trip!
Lana said…
I LOOOVE that video! Yes. I cried. that is amazing. Absolutely amazing.
blueviolet said…
There is no question that you're missed and I hope you're back online soon. The good news is that you're saving up some online time because you haven't even been able to use part of that quota you're stuck with.
LadyStyx said…
I think Animal Planet had a whole documentary about that video on just the other night.
Mrs4444 said…
Don't you just love unloading your fragments? Thanks for sharing these this week. BTW, you might notice that I changed your link; you left the link to your giveaway, instead of FF, which was actually kind of nice, so THANKS! :) And good luck with the laptop!
Kathy B! said…
Your family is hilarious! And you rock... anyone that can work the Soup Nazi and Mean Marge in one day is worthy of worship :)

Sigh

My hero
I always know where to go for a good laugh!!!!
So how are you BB?!!
Brenda Jean said…
BAHAHAHAHAHA Shanked-- that is too funny. Leave it to our teens to teach slang to our darling girls, huh? For some reason my boys have been using words for body parts all week. I had to yell at them "ENOUGH with the part part slang!".
Kristen Andrews said…
no flat screen for you is funny!
SO said…
I love Christian the Lion!! Love that whole story.

And I'd stay away from your daughter...and your son for that matter. Sleep with one eye open.

Hope your tresses get caramelized soon.
Susan said…
I have seen that Lion video before and it gets me every time.

I use my "soup Nazi" voice around here a lot, I love it.

My 5 yr old son actually said the phrase other day "That is so last year". Obviously he is watching his teen brothers cartoons LOL
Jennifer Jensen said…
I am LMAO at your post. I love the word shanked! I am going to use it at least 1 time tomorrow :)
Jennifer Jensen said…
I am LMAO at your post. I love the word shanked! I am going to use it at least 1 time tomorrow :)
Cygnus MacLlyr said…
OK I say just "UNFAIR".

I love your writing (wish i could on par...). I was in tears half-way through the Shankstory-- and after 12 years in TDCJ!!! Now, if you've enamored THIS hardened bird, you got Moxie, Ma'am!!!

Slainte!
Debra said…
Girl, you are so funny! And your kids are just like you! Love it! I hope you get your computer fixed soon. I miss you! Oh, and I love your daughter calls us Geekers. Since I work in computer support, my hubby calls me his Techno Gangsta, so being the cool person that I am I totally understand the need to shank every now and then. LOL On second thought, maybe you should hide all sharp objects in your house. ;-)
SciFiChick said…
I found your blog for the first time yesterday. SO Funny!! I actually started out at Catmans Litterbox, then on to My Song, (thanks Cygnus)and made the jump here. I'm glad I did.!
I will admit to needing tissues while watching the video!
The Boob Nazi said…
OH my gosh, I almost watched that video again, but I remembered what happened when I watched it last time! No crying for me!
Yaya said…
Yes, I have seen that video. And I did cry my eyes out too!

Love the soup nazi story. We use that impression a lot around here!
The Blogaholic said…
I am totally stalking you..but didn't want to interfere with your giveaway. I clicked over from Blog Stalkers Unite. With the pending dismantling of the BSU, a friend and I are starting up something similar. We want to invite you to join us. It is a similar concept, with a some added extras. We also have listings for those of you that have Etsy shops..which I notice you have. Won't you join us? You mind find that you like us!

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