Friday, July 23, 2010

Dear So and So...Cheesecake, Childcare and Chumps Edition


Welcome to another fine edition of Dear So and So...
brought to you by the lovely Kat over at 3 Bedroom Bungalow! And off we go!


Dear Teen Caveboy,

Let's review the "quality of childcare assessment"  your darling little sister handed to me yesterday detailing the incidents that occurred while in your care...(her words are in bold.)...

Bad (apparently there was a doll~napping for ransom...)

Not Good  (hint...knocking on her door and running away is just goofy...especially after the 400th time...)

Very Bad (for bothering her while she was enjoying some Polly Pocket cruise time and a movie...)

Annoying (I know...it's just who you are...)

Sometimes Funny  (well now...here's a spot of sunshine...)

Here are some helpful hints for today's adventure in sister~sitting....

*There will be no doll~napping...(unless of course, she actually pays the ransom, then I'll take a 50% cut...)

*Keep in mind that there will come a day when she will spy on you and your girlfriends....if you want her to keep that info out of my hands, then BE NICE!

*Funny is good...it makes her happy...however, I'm talking funny ~ha/ha...not gross toilet humor funny...(although I realize she can give you a run for your money on that end...)

And...here's a little inspiration for you to improve your job performance...Your sister has her eye on this object that lives in your room...

Your precious Les Paul Prophecy guitar...


It may meet up with an "accident" and end up in this.....

.

She is that diabolical...Trust me...you gotta watch your back around a seven year old who's been wronged!  Just sayin'....

Good Luck!  You're going to need it...

xoxo

Mommy Dearest

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Dear People Who Park in the Handicap Spots that Really Don't Need Them (and the people who rudely yell at me when I do...)

Look, I realize when you see me hopping out of my snazzy sports car with boundless energy, you might be inclined to think..."HA! She's faking a handicap!"  What you aren't seeing (no doubt because of my blinding beauty) is the decrepit human meat sack crawling out the passenger side of the car.  (yep, that would be Chilly...just joshin' about the whole meat sack thing...I just like the way it sounds..I know...I've watched way too much Buffy the Vampire Slayer this summer...)  

And BOO TO YOU for those who've actually had the audacity to try and put me in my place in the parking lot thinking that I'm trying to steal the spot from a deserving handicapped person.  Again, refer to meat sack crawling from the passenger side....

When you park in a handi~spot and you really aren't in need of it, it creates all sorts of issues for the party that does need it.  Poor Chilly has nearly suffered heart failure from his trekking across a parking lot in the hellish heat of the desert. It's a cryin' shame....


Thanks for not parking there anymore...(and for cutting me slack when I do...with Meat Sack in the car, of course...),

Sincerely,

The Lady Who Will Kick You in the Shins and Run...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Dear Delicious Red Velvet Cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory,

My son enjoyed you so much last week that he has requested you for his birthday!  Isn't that fabulous?  Especially since I'm loving the whole $8.00 per slice thingy...yeah...riiiight....not so much....

While I understand that $50 for an entire cheesecake may seem like pennies on the dollar to a true epicurean, I must stand my ground and say no to your delectable temptations.  It's going to be hard and it may actually reduce my normally strong as a rock teenager to sobbing.  But for my wallet's sake, I must turn away from your whispers of "come and get me" and "don't you love your son?"  I must be strong and step away from the cheesecake....

I will always love your yummy delicious~ness,

Your (very hungry and cheesecake craving ) Admirer

ps...(I'll be there around 6:00 pm on Aug 10 to pick you up....shhhh....I'll be in disguise to hide my shame....)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have a wonderful weekend!

Love,


34 comments:

Everyday Goddess said...

It is so infuriating to see people abusing the handicap space, so rude!

How come all I want now is a slice of that red velvet cake???

Ash said...

Oh my word - that cake! Sigh. Now I'm going to need an afternoon snack.

Darn it.

Love the coffin guitar case. And nothing worse than a scorned seven-year-old. Ever.

kel said...

I cannot stand handicap space abusers!!

and that cheesecake.... oh my!

Kristina P. said...

I love your new blog look! So cute.

And that cheesecake really is to die for. I've had it. But you're right.

Annie said...

ahhhh cheesecake....sigh

otin said...

Thank goodness that I don't like cheesecake! I cant afford 50 bucks for dessert!

I would lock up that guitar!

Kirsty said...

I waaaaaant that cake!
Thank you for the prayers for my mumsy, very much needed, especially today :)

Captain Dumbass said...

Meat sack. That's love.

Michelle said...

Too cute with the tattling reports. I get those ... but on my husband ;) It's amazing how they don't think that what happens will be shared sometimes!

And the handicap? Oh it's my pet peeve. Especially at schools. Especially at the special needs preschool that HAS lots of people who have the handicapped tags b/c of their kids and can't park there because of the people who "are just running in and out" Grrrrrrr

Bunny, THE PARIS HOUSE said...

Hello Dawn,
I am so excited to see you blogging and your new layout/header is gorgeous!
My dad is in a wheelchair so I completely understand this, I even use to feel guilty parking in the pregnant women/with little kids section at Wegmans , I always left the spots for someone else. I hope things are going better for you and your sweet Chilly. I will be back to visit often as I just love your witty words and posts!
xoxo

debi9kids said...

Not sure if you're a baker or not, but here is a blog that replicated the cheesecake recipe:
http://domesticgoddessadventures.blogspot.com/2009/10/red-velvet-white-chocolate-cheesecake.html

YUM!

ps Glad to see you back blogging :)

Whimsical Creations said...

oh I have missed thee.

That cheesecake looks delicious and OUCH that's expensive.

Your kids are too funny!

Me (aka Danielle) said...

Oh how I have missed thee! I love the new look, as well!

I think you should be given a permit to kick people in the shins and run away! You've earned it!

blueviolet said...

People are pretty nervy to question your use of the handicapped spot! Geez!!!

I had an older brother who was a nightmare babysitter. Your son sounds like heaven next to him.

Keely said...

Red...velvet...cheesecake?

*diabetic coma*

Jenners said...

I have to say, I'm so skeeved out by the phrase "Human Meat Sack.'

Mrs4444 said...

I believe Coldstone has a red velvet ice cream cake that is fantastic and probably half that expensive. That said, I plan to check out the recipe shared in your comments :)

This weekend, I enjoyed the perks of traveling with someone who required handicapped parking/seating (at a concert), and it was SWEET. That said, I'm sure you'd prefer to not need it!!!

LOVE your new blog--It's GORGEOUS!

Shannon said...

Ok that dessert looks soooo good. I had all sorts of witty things to say until I saw that. Mmm. :)

I have a son who is three and we have a handicap permit due to his disability. I have gotten some looks when they see the tag in my window until they see him sweetly trotting as best he can across a busy parking lot holding on to my pinky with his little braces on his feet because someone else took all the handicap spots. Meanwhile my able bodied two year old is trying to rip my other pinky off so he can break into a run! lol

Unknown Mami said...

I say you buy a cheesecake from Costco and make some red velvet cake and serve them together. It's got to be cheaper.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Suddenly I have a craving for cheesecake. ;)

Randi Troxell said...

um did she really give you a child care assesment...
loooove her!!!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

I'm back ... I'm so sorry I've been absent!

OK have to start with the cheesecake I so need some!!! $50 hmmm maybe I can find the recipe and make it :).

NOT cool on the handicap spaces ppl!

Hehe payback can suck man :)

Lesley said...

oh that cake.....It's hard to admit it is actually worth every penny....but I have to hide my head in shame and say it is...and at least teen caveboy...well is a boy...I guess I was a bad babysitter...as I found that my sister and her friend ended up reading my diary...and taping it....geez

koralee said...

Love the new look over here...and the red velvet cheesecake...really now nothing in this world could top that. xoxoxo Happy Monday

Tracy said...

I had this whole idea of what I was going to comment and say... and then you had to go and post the red velvet cheesecake. And now I can't get that out of my head. Thanks! :)

aurora said...

Love the new look! So pretty. And is it insane that I want that Red Velvet cheesecake so stinkin' bad, even though I am allergic to Red 40????

The Blonde Duck said...

Dude. I'm cheap, but I'd fork it over for that cheesecake.

The Blonde Duck said...

Dude. I'm cheap, but I'd fork it over for that cheesecake.

Becky said...

You are hilarious girl! We were at the Cheesecake Factory this weekend and YES they do charge your left arm for a cheesecake...it's rediculous but who can resist!!!

theUngourmet said...

I've never tasted Cheesecake Factory cheesecake. It's probably for the best or I'd be broke! ;D Yum!

At Home With SewSuzanne said...

This was a great read! Thanks for stopping by our blog too! The banner creation is a lot easier than I thought!! Let me know how you do!

Everything Shea ... Creates said...

I love that handicapped parking sign!

But that red velvet cheesecake looks scrumptious. I must try 1. Soon! :)

Dapoppins said...

Thought the sister sitting report was really funny, and the meat sack flopping out of your car, HA, I'd like to see THAT. But the cheese cake. You killed me with the cheese cake.

LadyStyx said...

LOL@ the cheesecake letter. Total awesomeness. Haven't tried that flavor but have actually tried red velvet cake with the cream cheese icing and... oh my.. I think I like it! Which means... I may just like that cheesecake... Maybe it's a good thing we don't have a CF too terribly close!

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