Monday, May 11, 2009

Not Me Monday! She's Baaa-ccckkk.....

Join in the Not Me! Monday fun brought to the land of Blog from MckMama over at My Charming Kids!

I am NOT deliriously happy that I no longer have to drive Chilly to work every morning. I was NOT thrilled that his doctor fitted him with a "robocop" device so that he could use his broken appendage and drive. I was NOT ready to yank all of my hair out from the added stress of it all.

I did NOT feel a wee lump in my throat and tiny tears did NOT form when I saw I lost a follower this morning. My chin is NOT trembling a little. I am NOT sad that sometimes it seems blogging is a fickle world...sniffle sniffle plop plop...(those are NOT sad tears falling all over my blog....)

While waiting for what seemed like hours to be seated at my Mother's Day brunch (when we could clearly see at least 10 empty tables ready for customers), I did NOT say to my family, " I would rather the kids serve me a breakfast in bed of bad fish slathered with peanut butter and mayo on wilted lettuce next year than go through this torture." I would never set myself up for such a rotten mother's day next year....Tween Caveboy and Chilly did NOT start plotting their evil plans for next year upon watching me throw this mini tantrum. Catherine did NOT tell me to be patient in her "mom" voice.

My transmission (on my SUV with less than 50,000 miles) did NOT go clunk-clunk on the way to my Mother's Day brunch in Tucson. My warning light did NOT come on immediately after telling me to get to the nearest service station. I did NOT freak out because I did NOT forget my cell phone. I did NOT want to give Chilly a great big hug for handling all of this for me upon meeting him at the restaurant in Tucson. I was NOT happy that we drove separately to the restaurant. I was NOT really sad, however, that I couldn't jet over to Borders to spend my super fantastic gift card my kids gave me for Mother's Day.

But wait! I was NOT grateful that my dad let me borrow his truck so that I could go back to Borders...sans kids! (well, almost....I did NOT have a pint size Irish dancer girl stowaway join me...) I did NOT buy Mrs. Meyers Cleaning Book. It is NOT fabulous and it is NOT filled with lots of non-toxic ways to keep my house all sparkly and fresh. I do NOT recommend you purchase this book.



I did NOT feel horribly sorry for my Mother on Saturday (now NOT aka Weeble) for tripping on an uneven sidewalk in NY and breaking one elbow, wrecking the other and breaking a toe too. My sister and I did NOT spend an hour on the phone making fun of her and calling her names. We would NEVER do that to our Mom. (Ooooo...this is for you....PTA....LOLOLOLOLO!!!!)

I did NOT get lots of giggles when I saw that Bobby G over at The G-Spot had given me this f***ing fabulous award! I did NOT blush when I saw the "f" word....(Dad, I promise I am NOT trying to stop using that word...alot...seriously...) I am NOT loving Bobby G's blog because he is NOT hilarious. Do NOT go read his blog because you will NOT get hooked on his f***ing fabulous humor! I am NOT thanking him for this very cool award!


I am NOT delighted to be spending the next week blogstalking like I did back in the early days (before my family started injuring themselves and my electronics committed suicide....)

Do NOT have an AMAZING MONDAY!

xoxo
dawn

29 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Yeah, my Hyundai has 51,000 miles on it, and we have to get the transmission replaced. Fortunately, it's all covered under the warranty! They might make crappy cars, but at least they cover them!

Tracy said...

First commenter!? YAY!!! I win! :)

Ugh what's wrong wiht your car pumpkin!? Car problems are NO BUENO!!!

And you are so in for it next year for Mothers Day. Sorry!! hahahaaa

Bobby G said...

I did NOT smile gigantically while reading this post! I do NOT use the F word..EVER lol =)

Jillene said...

My car keeps turning on the check engine light for this stupid little valve that doesn't even matter really. Stupid thing.

stephilinn said...

hehehe...PTA....lol!

Cammie said...

lost a follower? Screw em. their loss.
happy monday!!!

Me said...

Wow! That's a whole lot of things you did NOT do!!

Happy Monday to ya!!

Michelle-y said...

I love your blog...err...I do NOT love your blog. Oh, who am I kidding? This NOT thing confuses the f*** out of me (hahahaha). But seriously, love it. You make me smile. The way you are able to cope with all life throws at you with a smile (and a little sass) is inspiring. You are such a great mommy and wifey. Have a great week...NOT...ok, I don't think I did it right...ok, I'm done.

Randi Troxell said...

i coulda SWORN i was following you... oh well... but dont worry you have a new follower in me though!!! sounds like a good but crazy wkend you had!!

pam said...

Cars are more trouble than they are worth, TFS!!

Sorry to hear about the long line up for brunch...at least you went out to eat:)

Followers always seem to be coming and going! You know who your real peeps are.

...Southern Bride... said...

Just stumbled on your blog! Count me as a new follower! :)

Erin said...

I am not jealous that you got to go to Borders without kids. Heck, I'm not jealous that you even have a Borders in your town. No, that's not me sniffing and wiping away tears...

Ashley said...

Hi. Remember me? I'm back!

I hate when they have several open tables but make you wait a coon's age to get seated. I think that's so frustrating and I always, always have to resist the urge to go and seat myself :) Ha ha. I may try that next time!

Cadance said...

we can use those words on here...that is F@*#ing Cool! hehehe!
...and i was NOT a tiny bit sad too yesterday morning when I realized I lost a follower too...and I was NOT also a bit embarrassed to tell my husband why i was in a bit of a funk regarding the issue...and then when I realised who it was I did NOT send a really nice comment their way just to make them feel a tiny bit sad they broke-up with me....no not me!

Nerdy Jess said...

OMG, I so need that book!

I'm obsessed wtih lemons. Lemon lemon lemon. Mmm my house smells good.

Ive MISSED you and I'm so glad your back. I'm typing a bloggity blog post right this instant to post. Woot!

LadyStyx said...

Defintely alot NOT going on! Im simply NOT tired out and winded just reading all of that.

Sorry a reader dropped off, but you're right... the Blogging world is very fickle.

Kathy B! said...

How can that even happen?! It is not okay to lose a transmission at such a young age! Given the electronics mishaps I have to say that your home is posessed by an evil electrical vibe... get thee an electronics exorcist, stat!!

Jan the crazy lady said...

I know I lost one too :)I am going to follow you to make it up.

I think I would love a Borders in my neck of the woods.

A Psych Mommy said...

Ugh, sorry about your car--that's really a PITA. Guess I know what to look forward to for future mother's days!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

Warranty maybe?

You lost a follower too, I did the whole sad face too!

Cleaning book? You kill me girl!

Love ya, hope all is well miss ya!

Stop by when you get a chance I have a new giveaway up. Muah

Marie Reed said...

I am not giving you a huge cyber hug for totally cracking me up this morning:)

The Blonde Duck said...

Don't worry about the follower! They don't know what they're missing.

Shannon said...

Way to go on starting walking again! That makes me so happy!! Great job!

And don't worry about that follower - the rest of us are here! :)

Mimi said...

Dang, you've been on quite a run lately!

Happy blogstalking!

Cairo Typ0 said...

Sounds like you had a bit of a day for Mother's Day. The whole empty table thing is a personal pet peeve of mine.

Debbie said...

Isn't it funny how one little lost follower can be such a downer. Maybe we all need to take that thing off our blogs so we won't worry so much.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

Mother's Day Schmother's Day. You should take a whole week off for that, lollygag about the house in your underwear, and sip martinis all day long while your children paint your toenails.

Yaya said...

Oh my gosh, your poor mom. :(

I need to see your hubby's driving tool. Ummm...what?

nikkicrumpet said...

Laughing at an injured loved one.....NIIIIICE ...maybe just maybe the transmission was Karma rearing it's ugly head because you picked on your poor mom lol

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