I did NOT feel a wee lump in my throat and tiny tears did NOT form when I saw I lost a follower this morning. My chin is NOT trembling a little. I am NOT sad that sometimes it seems blogging is a fickle world...sniffle sniffle plop plop...(those are NOT sad tears falling all over my blog....)
While waiting for what seemed like hours to be seated at my Mother's Day brunch (when we could clearly see at least 10 empty tables ready for customers), I did NOT say to my family, " I would rather the kids serve me a breakfast in bed of bad fish slathered with peanut butter and mayo on wilted lettuce next year than go through this torture." I would never set myself up for such a rotten mother's day next year....Tween Caveboy and Chilly did NOT start plotting their evil plans for next year upon watching me throw this mini tantrum. Catherine did NOT tell me to be patient in her "mom" voice.
My transmission (on my SUV with less than 50,000 miles) did NOT go clunk-clunk on the way to my Mother's Day brunch in Tucson. My warning light did NOT come on immediately after telling me to get to the nearest service station. I did NOT freak out because I did NOT forget my cell phone. I did NOT want to give Chilly a great big hug for handling all of this for me upon meeting him at the restaurant in Tucson. I was NOT happy that we drove separately to the restaurant. I was NOT really sad, however, that I couldn't jet over to Borders to spend my super fantastic gift card my kids gave me for Mother's Day.
But wait! I was NOT grateful that my dad let me borrow his truck so that I could go back to Borders...sans kids! (well, almost....I did NOT have a pint size Irish dancer girl stowaway join me...) I did NOT buy Mrs. Meyers Cleaning Book. It is NOT fabulous and it is NOT filled with lots of non-toxic ways to keep my house all sparkly and fresh. I do NOT recommend you purchase this book.
I did NOT feel horribly sorry for my Mother on Saturday (now NOT aka Weeble) for tripping on an uneven sidewalk in NY and breaking one elbow, wrecking the other and breaking a toe too. My sister and I did NOT spend an hour on the phone making fun of her and calling her names. We would NEVER do that to our Mom. (Ooooo...this is for you....PTA....LOLOLOLOLO!!!!)
I did NOT get lots of giggles when I saw that Bobby G over at The G-Spot had given me this f***ing fabulous award! I did NOT blush when I saw the "f" word....(Dad, I promise I am NOT trying to stop using that word...alot...seriously...) I am NOT loving Bobby G's blog because he is NOT hilarious. Do NOT go read his blog because you will NOT get hooked on his f***ing fabulous humor! I am NOT thanking him for this very cool award!
I am NOT delighted to be spending the next week blogstalking like I did back in the early days (before my family started injuring themselves and my electronics committed suicide....)
Do NOT have an AMAZING MONDAY!