I have NOT been staring at the computer for the last half hour trying to figure out what to post today. I am NOT so lame that I cannot come up with a post lately. My mind is NOT a huge space with giant question mark floating in the center of it.
I did NOT spend my entire Sunday doing a major scrub down of my kitchen. I did NOT walk around sporting T-rex arms last night because my biceps were so tight from scrubbing that I couldn't straighten out my arms. My inner T-rex did NOT start hollering and jumping up and down with her short arms when she saw that a Land of the Lost marathon would be playing on the SciFi channel all day today. My family did NOT make fun of me either. (The question mark in my brain does NOT look like stainless steel because I cleaned so much stinkin' stainless steel on Sunday that it saturated my brain waves.)
I am NOT missing Ohio this weekend. I would NEVER miss going to King's Island Amusement Park on Memorial Day weekend. I did NOT love living 20 minutes from there while living in Ohio. I am still NOT laughing at the memory of Chilly freaking out on the White Water Canyon ride on his first visit there. Tween Caveboy and I do NOT love to imitate his girly screams as the first splashes of water came over the sides of the "raft". (Tween Caveboy, I do NOT remember that you actually said "oh sh*t!" when you saw the first group of rapids. I do NOT forgive you because you were only 7 at the time and it was the only time a naughty word ever popped out of your mouth.)
I did NOT growl at my family everytime they went into my sparkling clean kitchen yesterday. I did NOT act like it was awful that they actually wanted me to cook for them in my "looking like new" kitchen (and I did NOT eye-roll and heavy sigh either.) I am NOT that mean.
I did NOT think Catherine was hilarious when she told Nana that the "dog-in-law" came to see her last weekend. (That would be Snow, my in-laws service dog...) I did NOT think she was very clever for making that up all on her own!
On Saturday morning, I did NOT shriek like a banshee when just seconds after Chilly said, "I think we could probably take your Dad's truck to Scottsdale for the feis", a giant black bird commited suicide into the windshield. I did NOT look frantically skyward to see if a re-enactment of Hitchcock's "The Birds" movie was about to commence. I did NOT say to Chilly, "That would be a BIG NO on taking the truck, dude." I do NOT believe it was a sign. Heck no, I don't.
I did NOT think my husband was disgusting when he followed up his breakfast on Saturday with a nice salad while we were enjoying our breakfast outing. I do NOT think breakfast foods and salad are a gross combination.
I did NOT have 2 dreams over the weekend about Tim Roth. I do NOT love his show "Lie to Me" so much that I am now dreaming about him all the time.
I am NOT on a crazy spring cleaning spree now that my kitchen is looking so flippin' fabulous. I will NOT be doing a major overhaul on the whole house this week either. My kids did NOT run away and join the circus once they found out I was using them as my slave labor this week. They do NOT think I am completely mental for wanting to start our summer vacation this way.
What crazy things are you NOT doing this fine week in May?