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Not Me Monday: And Lame-O Was Her Name-O

Join in the Not Me! Monday fun brought to the land of Blog from MckMama over at My Charming Kids!

I have NOT been staring at the computer for the last half hour trying to figure out what to post today. I am NOT so lame that I cannot come up with a post lately. My mind is NOT a huge space with giant question mark floating in the center of it.

I did NOT spend my entire Sunday doing a major scrub down of my kitchen. I did NOT walk around sporting T-rex arms last night because my biceps were so tight from scrubbing that I couldn't straighten out my arms. My inner T-rex did NOT start hollering and jumping up and down with her short arms when she saw that a Land of the Lost marathon would be playing on the SciFi channel all day today. My family did NOT make fun of me either. (The question mark in my brain does NOT look like stainless steel because I cleaned so much stinkin' stainless steel on Sunday that it saturated my brain waves.)

I am NOT missing Ohio this weekend. I would NEVER miss going to King's Island Amusement Park on Memorial Day weekend. I did NOT love living 20 minutes from there while living in Ohio. I am still NOT laughing at the memory of Chilly freaking out on the White Water Canyon ride on his first visit there. Tween Caveboy and I do NOT love to imitate his girly screams as the first splashes of water came over the sides of the "raft". (Tween Caveboy, I do NOT remember that you actually said "oh sh*t!" when you saw the first group of rapids. I do NOT forgive you because you were only 7 at the time and it was the only time a naughty word ever popped out of your mouth.)

I did NOT growl at my family everytime they went into my sparkling clean kitchen yesterday. I did NOT act like it was awful that they actually wanted me to cook for them in my "looking like new" kitchen (and I did NOT eye-roll and heavy sigh either.) I am NOT that mean.

I did NOT think Catherine was hilarious when she told Nana that the "dog-in-law" came to see her last weekend. (That would be Snow, my in-laws service dog...) I did NOT think she was very clever for making that up all on her own!

On Saturday morning, I did NOT shriek like a banshee when just seconds after Chilly said, "I think we could probably take your Dad's truck to Scottsdale for the feis", a giant black bird commited suicide into the windshield. I did NOT look frantically skyward to see if a re-enactment of Hitchcock's "The Birds" movie was about to commence. I did NOT say to Chilly, "That would be a BIG NO on taking the truck, dude." I do NOT believe it was a sign. Heck no, I don't.

I did NOT think my husband was disgusting when he followed up his breakfast on Saturday with a nice salad while we were enjoying our breakfast outing. I do NOT think breakfast foods and salad are a gross combination.

I did NOT have 2 dreams over the weekend about Tim Roth. I do NOT love his show "Lie to Me" so much that I am now dreaming about him all the time.

I am NOT on a crazy spring cleaning spree now that my kitchen is looking so flippin' fabulous. I will NOT be doing a major overhaul on the whole house this week either. My kids did NOT run away and join the circus once they found out I was using them as my slave labor this week. They do NOT think I am completely mental for wanting to start our summer vacation this way.

What crazy things are you NOT doing this fine week in May?




Kristina P. said…
A salad after breakfast food?!?! Oh, the humanity!!
blognut said…
Wait! Land of the Lost is on? Where?

I'm out of here - I have to watch this!
Anonymous said…
I gotta do some cleaning today.

Dog in law, that is clever!
B said…
I do NOT completely agree with your feelings, "I have NOT been staring at the computer for the last half hour trying to figure out what to post today. I am NOT so lame that I cannot come up with a post lately. My mind is NOT a huge space with giant question mark floating in the center of it." because I have NOT been feeling the same way forever and have NOT thought that throwing the blog out the window would be a good idea some days.
mommaof4wife2r said…
could you and your t-rex arms come and scrub my kitchen now? please??? mom calls our dog her Grand Dog...ridiculous!
Tracy said…
Ugh! I'm post challenged lately. I am sleepy. I am lazy. I have a messy house and crabby husband because of said messy house. I have a kitchen full of dishes to wash but really dont want to and am seriously thinking about pulling the I'm pregnant and my back hurts card to get the hubband to wash them. AND to top it all off I have swollen cankles. UGHHH!!!

Happy Monday!

I know, I know... I'm just the brightest spot in the day today. Sorry for my negative nancy issues!
Caitlin said…
Sparkling stainless steel kitchen... *drools*
Mimi said…
I am NOT ignoring cleaning my house because the weather is nice!
Robyn Jones said…
I wish my kitchen was still sparkling clean..but NO, my son just tramped in with his boots on and dragged an unbelievable amount of mud in a trail through the kitchen...and then through the hall, before i caught him with his muddy boots...
so I am off to wash the floor now...
nikkicrumpet said…
BLECH....salad with breakfast...that is sooo very wrong. Hey one of the ladies I blogged about going to the Boston Marathon with was in an episode of Lie To was the one where the little girl burned her family house down....she played the mom and was REALLY good. I like that show's pretty cool!
LadyStyx said…

*clicks over to see why I remember the title but not the show itself*

.oO(was it really all that bad?)

oh my. Bad soapy acting on terrible sets. Yeah, no wonder they made it into a comedy starring Will Farrell!
Me said…
Will you come and clean my kitchen?

Oh..and do you do bathrooms as well?
I love lie to me too :) Great show.

I am jealous about your clean house. Really now, are showing off. Totally happy for your motivation. I love feeling and accomplishing those tasks too. Happy Memorial today.
Beth said…
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one excited about the Land of the Lost marathon! That show rocked!
Hit 40 said…
Wow! Kings Island is about 90 min drive for me from Columbus, OH.

Our zoo now has a great outdoor waterpark. And... soon polar bears.

My hubby has always wanted to move to AZ.
Michelle said…
Wait, you're all out of school already? Wow!

And for not having anything to post about, you certainly found the motherlode of entertaining material! :)
Enid Wilson said…
I do NOT want to be in the office because the day is sunny. I should NOT be blogging but writing but I'm out of ideas. Thanks for NOT insisting us to use the positive!

Steamy Darcy
LORI said…
Bobby G said…
There is NEVER a reason to miss ohio! EVER!
Noah's Mommy said…
t-rex, kings Island, Salads for breakfast...and Tim Roth...never a more random...or amusing Not me Monday I have read....Love it
Nerdy Jess said…
Hey lady! Your not lameo, goodness. Hush yo mouth. Miss your face, xoxox.
Randi Troxell said…
oh caveboys "oh sh*t" made me laugh so hard... !
the ungourmet said…
Oh my gosh, I would have loved to catch that Land of the Lost maration! Darn it! I loved that show!

It was fun cooking that up on the grill, I will definitely do it again.

Have a super week!! :0)
3 Bay B Chicks said…
Could you redesigned site be any cuter, my friend? Seriously, that owl is beyond wonderful. Are you responsible for this bit of HTML genius that I am seeing?

Oh, and your Hitchcock reference made me laugh out loud. You're my kind of girl.

Kathy B! said…
The visual of you walking arounf with t-rex arms is going to keep me grinning for the rest of the day :)
Cadance said…
I am NOT totally awake now that I have been packing all day long and cleaning the house to be ready for our trip tomorrow morning......AGH!

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