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Warm Fuzzy Friday Frankenblog

It's Warm Fuzzy Friday! I'm feeling a bit random today. (I think I caught it from other bloggers...) I've got a ramble, a warning, a rant, and experiment for you today! (I'll try to keep it under 30 minutes of your time....hee hee hee...)

The Ramble...

I found a wolf spider creeping around in my bathroom last night! A freakin' wolf spider! Chilly almost had another heart attack! He doused it with window cleaner to stun it, but it kept crawling! He tried to drown it so we wouldn't have gross spider guts all over the tub. That thing would not give up! He finally resorted to the shoe stomp dismemberment. AND THE TWO HALVES CRAWLED BACK TO EACH OTHER! Finally, I swooped in with a tissue, grabbed the halves and flushed that sucker!

Wolf spider bites are dangerous business that can make you very ill and require hospitalization. So yes, I am glad Chilly murdered the wolf spider!

(Just so you know how much I love you all...I removed the picture of the spider because it was very scary. I want you to hang in for the whole post and not run away scared!)

The Warning

If you live in southern AZ, the local fire departments will not come and rescue you from rattlesnakes (unless you've been attacked...) So if you see one crawling around, you're kind of screwed until it decides to leave (or you are brave enough to kill it...yes, I would kill it...actually, I would send my Dad out to kill it, but it would die.) It's snake season here now (lovely) and we have to watch for these evil creatures under our cars, on our porches, everywhere!

The Rant (for the ladies at the grocery store...)

When you see a family out in mid-week during the middle of the day, DO NOT approach the children of the family and ask why they are not in school. First of all, IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Second, our school day is done. Third, ASK ME..THE PARENT, you ass! Do NOT put my children in that position because you think you are gonna "bust" me as a negligent parent. Trust me, you don't want to do this dance with me. I'll go all "my kid is smarter than you" on you in a New York minute and I can prove it! Just smile, wave and move on your merry way. It is not your job to police the world. My kids are smart, have tons of friends and are fantastic human beings. Stop hatin' the homeschoolers, old ladies in grocery stores!

The Experiment

Being the annoying blogger that I am, I wanted to try something fun with comments! Now, I love comments as much as most bloggers. I want to play a game with the comments today. I want to create a story with the comments. I will start our story and you pick it up from the comment listed above you. For example, "Once upon a time, there was a blogger...." You just continue the story with your comment. The next commenter will take a cue from the comment above and add to the story. We'll create our own Frankenblog! We will piece together a blogpost story from our comments! What say you? Are you in? I know you're all fabulous writers! (and anytime you want to wrap up one story line and head in a new direction, feel free to do so! It's Frankenblog!)

Here we go...."Once upon a time, in the land of Blog..."


p.s. Please do not feel obligated to play the Frankenblog game! Only if you really want to! I promise I won't hunt you down or anything weird! lol! Please feel free to just say hello, or this post is dumb, or I hate spiders...whatever floats your boat!

p.s.s. I realize this blog makes me sound like a stone cold killer. I only murder venomous creatures that threaten to destroy my family.

Comments

Robyn Jones said…
there was a very sad...but very ugly and dangerous Wolf Spider...(I have been attacked by one of these by the way...they are scary...)
Randi Troxell said…
um on the spider... i HATE spiders. this isn't a girly thing either... i literally almost have a panic attack. uuuuggghhh!!

that whole snake deal... my hubby will just get the gun out and shoot it.. yea i know... he does this b/c he says once he was gonna smash it with a shovel and it got waaay to close to him, so he resorts to a gun- which is just fine with me!

happy friday!
annie kelleher said…
now the Wolf Spider might've been ugly and dangerous, but this particular Wolf Spider was at least introspective. after all, everybody has to make a living, right? and have you seen some of the suckers I'm willing to eat? he'd wonder time and again as he scurried for cover pursued by some screaming woman weilding a manolo blahnik (or however you spell them - tough to get it right upside down.)
mommaof4wife2r said…
i hate your pics today! yuck! i am feeling uber creepy and itchy! hate snakes...and i kill spiders.
Yaya said…
He knew then that his life was doomed and immediately had flashbacks of his wife and 50,000 children.
Bee and Rose said…
Ok, Frankenbloggers, here's what we have so far...

Once upon a time in the land of Blog, there was a very sad...but very ugly and dangerous Wolf Spider.

Now the Wolf Spider might've been ugly and dangerous, but this particular Wolf Spider was introspective. After all, everybody has to make a living, right? And have you seen some of the suckers I'm willing to eat? He'd wonder time and again as he scurried for cover pursued by some screaming woman weilding a Manolo Blahnik (or however you spell it, tough to get it right upside down..)

He knew then that his life was doomed and immediately had flashbacks of his wife and 50,000 children.
Nicole said…
He looked here and there and saw a cabinet to scurry under..........ready, set, go!
Me said…
Eww! Okay...I have to admit, I saw the picture of the spider and scrolled to your comment box to hide! I have no idea what the post was about. So I have nothing intelligent to say. Please let me know when its safe to come out of hiding! I.HATE.SPIDERS!
Bethany said…
Ugh!!! I found a spider in my kitchen sink this morning. Looked about like that one!!! UGH!!
Kristina P. said…
My husband is such a spider wussy! He makes me take care of them.
Alright that was disturbing!

I have an award for you over @ Misadventures in Baby Raising!
Cammie said…
He knew that under the cabinet was where he kept his stash of spider xanax and merlot.
Eeeek! The two halves crawled back together? AHHH! I would have freaked out. You mentioned you have Ugly Dolls in your store (I posted about them in mid-Feb) - where is your store?
blueviolet said…
I don't even know if I would recognize a wolf spider if I saw it. I think we get black widow spiders here but I wouldn't know one of those either. Somebody better clue me in.
sandy said…
...spider Xanax and merlot sounds like the perfect afternoon snack...
The Boob Nazi said…
That's awkward.... I admit that sometimes I wonder that, but I'd never ask!!!!
Eudae-Mamia said…
Safely under the cabinet he spied his Xanax and Merlot, but then cried out in anguish "Curses evolution!!! I have 8 legs, but no fingers! How the hell am I going to get those things open?!"

(two halfs crawled back together? OMG)
Alexis AKA MOM said…
But then he remembers it is a screw top (it was on sale) that he could unscrew with his teeth. He took a long thirst quencing gulp and one more for measure. Then decided a call to Dr. Phil was in order. Thankfully he just purchased that new voice activated phone.
babyrocasmama said…
So he began to spin his web around the bottles, hoping to crush them open. It didn't work. He wandered back into the bathtub where he encountered a large human named Chilly. The human cut him in half...CURSES!

But the human did not know that as long as my two halves can come back together, I can regenerate! Ahh, here we go almost back together...wit, what's tha...I'm drowning! The female human has put me in the big pond! Now....I'm dead. The End.

{And I want to see the pictures... If you want to see a really freaky spider, go here: http://mylastshredsofsanity.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-used-to-want-to-take-vacation-here.html
Bee and Rose said…
Wow! That was a fantastic ending, Baby Roca's Mommy!!!!!

Now feel free to just leave random comments!
Mammatalk said…
Oh, wolf spiders freak me out! I am getting the chills. Blech!
Kate said…
I hate spiders and snakes!!!

I do love homeschooling though even though I have to work and can't.

happy weekend!!
Debra said…
I was going to help with the story but it already ended. Sniff, sniff! That is WILD that the two pieces tried to crawl back together. That is cool, yet so very creepy and makes my skin crawl alla at the same time!
Nightowl Mama said…
great story...I wanted to play too. poop its over...blogging away sadly.

LOL ya should of told that women to mind her own business. I hate when people ask random thoughts of your children. I luv when my children say, "I don't talk to strangers" I just smile and say, "I taught them well!"
Great post great blog
Grand Pooba said…
Very good story, I especially enjoyed the Merlot!
Midwest Mommy said…
I don't know what that spider looks like but it still sounds scary.

I like the comment story thing...cute.
Holly crap!!!... I found a spider that ran behind the mirowave this morning. I just sent my husband in to get it...now wait now he just pawned this off on my son. what a woos!!!or is that wuus? WHATEVER I just need to know its dead and gone.
As far as snakes hate them to at least the ratlers. I killed one myself a couple summers ago and I would do it again in a heart beat.
Ok update.. they cant find the spider.. what the...ok now what! Is there any spider bait..besides staying out of the kitchen. My thin mints are in there!!
This comment has been removed by the author.
pam said…
I have never heard of a Wolf Spider. I think after reading about all your creatures big and small that visit your home, I am glad for the cold and snow of S. Ontario, where we have nothing too exotic. A skunk in the shed is nothing compared to the things you describe.

Is there a time of year when these creatures aren't out and about? If there is, that is when I will visit:) I am still debating if I will google a wolf spider!!

Love You:)
Jenners said…
Well crap..the story ended. That ain't fun. So I'll try and start another one ...

Once upon a time, there was a great blogger named Bee and Rose who was funny every single day.
A Psych Mommy said…
Ooh, I think I would have passed out if I saw that spider. And then the spider would have bit me.
ick. Spiders. So glad you didnt post the picture.
Mother Mayhem said…
Running. Screaming.
Deb said…
see? that's what i get for being late to the party. oh well. that was a fun idea for the story.

and i think i can safely remove one state off my list of places to live.
LadyStyx said…
oh I hate spiders...it doesnt matter what size they are. They're the one thing in this world that will make me squeal like a little sissy girl and tell my hubby (scream at him actually) to send the critter to its happy dispatch. Snakes, I aint fond of them either, but for some reason they dont make me screech like I do with a spider.

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