Sunday, January 11, 2009

Letter from Mrs. Claus

I woke up this morning and headed out to write my morning post for the family. I stopped short when I saw twinkling lights in my family room. They grew bigger each moment until they formed a tiny man with strange ears. I noticed he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt. "Hey," he nodded at me. "Hey...", I replied a bit cautiously. He handed me a letter. "Here," he grumbled. "Wait a minute..I know you...you're Grumpy...Snow White's friend!" I clapped my hands excitedly. He snorted, "No, I'm Sebastian, on special assignment from the North Pole. Are you gonna read this or what?" "Geez, I'll read it...Simmer down there, Sebastian!" I opened the letter slowly. Was I in trouble with the guy in the red suit? Golly, it wasn't even a month past Christmas! He must be watching me awfully close! I take a deep breath and begin to read....

Dear Dawn;
We have been watching you through our special snowglobe.
(oops...I thought I cleverly had made that up to make my kids behave...gulp...) We realize you are a very busy woman raising 2 kids, homeschooling, working from home, blogging, taking care of Chilly and his health. However, when glancing into the snowglobe this morning, we see that all 5 Christmas trees are still up. It appears that there was a toy explosion in the family room as well. In the spirit of kindness, we won't even mention the mess in your kitchen. (Oh really? Cause it sounds like you just did, Mrs. Claus!) We are concerned that your children are going to become confused by this. It's possible that they will think Christmas happens everyday. (well, it should....) Please, for the sake of your children's well being, take down the decorations, clean up the toys and then have a nice cup of hot cocoa. You'll feel much better, my dear. Then you can get on to the business of Catherine's Fancy Nancy birthday party, Valentine's Day, Chilly's birthday, St. Patricks Day and Easter. I will kindly refrain from bringing up the whole month of May thing. (Gee, thanks Mrs. C...since that is the month of financial doom for our family....) And yes, Santa knows that you want a new Sony Cybershot digital camera with a 10x zoom, new photo editing software, etc. Keep up the jolly good behavior and you may be the lucky recipient of such lovely gifts.

With warm blessings from the North Pole,
Mrs. Claus

Ouch! Getting the smackdown from the holiday "hostess with the mostest" wasn't on my agenda for the day. I look at Sebastian who is smirking at me. "Look little dude, I've got a brunch to prepare. I've got stuff to do." His smirk is getting smirkier. "Oh, all right! I need to put away Christmas. There! Are you happy now?" I realize I am growling at one of Santa's elves...probably not such a good idea since he is probably taking mental notes of my very unpleasant disposition. "No sweat off my back, lady. I'm on my way to Hawaii for a little post Christmas R&R. You do what you gotta do," he smirked some more. Then in a flash he was gone.

Ugh! The nerve of that rotten little %*@#! Wait a second...the secret snowglobe could still be checking me out. I smile sweetly. "How kind of the lovely little gentleman in his colorful shirt of tropical flowers to bring me such glad tidings. Better get to putting my darling decorations away! La la la la!"

So now you know what I'll be doing all day. Finally, saying goodbye to Christmas until the end of this year. I'm a bit sad because the house looks so festive (yes, in a Christmas party gone bad kind of way) but I do enjoy the pretty decorations. However, Mrs. Claus is right. I've got lots of other occasions to plan. On to the 'nother holiday! (that was for you, Aunt Oooo)

Bits and Pieces

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